learning to go solo
a journal entry from stockholm
the following is a journal entry, raw, un-edited, collage of feeling.
if you are confused at how you’re receiving this email. This is a newsletter from Simon Kim, founder of Keep It Wholesome, and Creator Camp. I’ve just realized how much of an amalgamation of different layers of my online ventures have come together into this single email list.
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5/26/25 - Stockholm, Sweden
The two week bender comes to an end as the group disperses back across the globe. First with Chris leaving to Prague, Keoni to Cambodia, Jonah to Chicago, and then Zach back across the pond.
It leaves me feeling odd. I miss being alone, but at the same time miss the constant movement and camaraderie I felt. There’s this attractive feeling of just wanting to run away. To be solo. But it also scares the hell out of me.
Tomorrow I leave to Australia for a two week solo trip. Last night I spent two hours debating whether to go into nature, or stay in the city, I always find it funny how my own spontaneity brings up massive anxiety when planning a trip. Like what if I choose the wrong thing? It feels as if I’m trapping myself in a box —or maybe it’s just my avoidance.
Truth is, I haven’t come out here to just travel and enjoy my time, but to also finish up a project that will mark the end of the last chapter of my life. A one-hour YouTube film that I’ve been procrastinating on for a year. I’m not sure if procrastinating is fair to myself. However, if there’s one thing I want to walk away from this trip, it’s putting a sort of bookend to the style of video that birthed all of this.
The silence of solo travel makes the fear real. Life isn’t this awe-inspiring exploration anymore, but rather a 2-foot-deep swamp that I find myself wading in. An escape from my own shame and failures. A mirror at the person I want to be. This gut-wrenching anchor that follows me around everywhere. It’s hard to explain just how this feels, but I wonder if growing older is just being able to acknowledge and navigate moving forward without being pulled back in. Without succumbing to your own shortcomings and moments of weakness. I suppose this is what life actually is. Beyond the jaded perspectives and raw youthful spirit, this battle that gnaws and callouses your hands. Not to sound too pessimistic, but I think the un-forgiving optimism I carry with me should be checked every once in a while.
It isn’t clear, it’s murky, for a moment I can’t squint and see the opening between the leaves. Life just happens to you if you don’t take the reigns. And so I sit here, listening to Arcy Drive, people watching from my Airbnb just outside of Stockholm, and remind myself of who I am.
With love,
-Simon
Really glad to hear you're coming to the down under, if you go solo travelling near Byron Bay, you should hit me up!
love this simon, proud of you!